To the Max

I ate gluten. And I’d do it again.

It’s not one of my proudest moments, but I’ve decided to cut myself some slack this time around.

Early in the month of December, I had gotten some bad news. My TSH had climbed from a 14 (my highest number ever) to nearly a 21. And so I did what anyone would do. I drove straight to my nearest cafe and ordered a butter croissant. I tearfully ate it, simultaneously furious and depressed, as I drove to my daughter’s school to pick her up.

I made a pact with myself that I’d tell no one, especially not my husband, who is so supportive of my every need and lifestyle change, naps, food expenses, drug expenses, doctor visits, chiropractic visits, ergonomic chairs and keyboards, and massages, due to Hashimotos Thyroiditis.

By now, anyone with an autoimmunity knows that gluten is the enemy. It  must be eliminated if you seek gut health and true wellness. Ahh, but gluten. It ain’t easy at first. I still miss beer, and of course, croissants.

What was different this time was I couldn’t stop. That croissant with it’s soft, moist, doughy center was like a gateway drug. At first I told myself it was just one slip. I’d get back on the ol’ proverbial diet horse tomorrow. But I didn’t. I was weak, or more likely sick and tired.

The way I saw it, I had a functional medicine doctor’s appointment lined up for the end of December. These next 20 days were mine to do as I please before I’d be on a strict regimen to heal my gut and to begin a one-year lead detox protocol. Yep, that’s right. Apparently I have such high levels of lead toxicity that my doctor referred me to another doctor who has dealt with these cases before. So, I have to get the lead out. It’s costly and very necessary. As they say, I’m just peeling back the onion layers of this disease on my journey to wellness.

So, given that December is a sweets-orgy anyway, I gave in. Homemade goodies from family–eat up! Peppermint chocolate cookies? No problem. Ordered glutenous pizza by mistake? Why the hell not! In fact, I’ll have three slices and live with the consequences.

A TSH of 21 isn’t gonna ruin this girl’s party. I’m flooring this thing. I’m taking it to the max.

And while I eat those chewy, soft brownies and those sugar cookies, I think I’ll watch some suspenseful movies. I’ll follow it up with a day at an amusement park and go on roller coaster rides with my kiddo. Then I’ll shove three tacos down the hatch from Taco Bell on the drive home. And I’m not gonna google one thing about those ingredients. I have no doubt that along with the chemical $hit storm that is in their products, there has to be some gluten. Screw my gut and the horse it rode in on and those adrenal glands can just deal. They can eak out whatever they’ve got left and allow me this one last thrill, this devil may care life that I miss so much. Is it irresponsible? Yes. But as my teenage students used to say, “YOLO!”

The sweets tasted so good. The rides were a blast. Those tacos, which I haven’t had in 4 years, oozed sour cream, cheddar cheese and greasy meat sauce, and were nothing short of a miracle in my mouth.

Okay, I’ll admit it. I lived with a few tummy pains and some wicked tired days, but I lived. I had my joyride with overindulgence and wound up on the naughty list.

And praise Jesus, Monday is a brand new year to get it right all over again. 2018, lookout.

Photo Credit:

2 thoughts on “To the Max

  1. Lord o mercy! You binged BIG!

    In the words of Kurt Russell (Tombstone), here’s what you tell Hashi’s:

    “I’m comin’ after you, and Hell’s comin’ with me.” LOL.

    Hope those numbers decrease muy pronto.

    Sent from my iPhone



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s